Monday, September 22, 2008

The Marriage Zone: Grandparents Rights

Everyone appreciates and respects what grandparents do for their grandchildren. There are a significant number of grandparents who are parenting their grandchildren. It is regrettable that so many parents have abdicated their role, but we are all fortunate that there are grandparents who are willing and able to take over. All of the grandparents that I am familiar with who are raising their grandchildren would rather be grandparents then parents. They are taking on the parental role until the parents are willing and able to assume their parental responsibilities.

Whenever the government becomes involved in children’s lives and custody is an issue, grandparents are an obvious choice as caregivers. Whenever there is or has been a child custody case or a case concerning the allocation of parental responsibilities relating to a child, the grandparents of that child may request an order granting reasonable visitation time. The court will determine if such visitation is in the child’s best interests.

Under certain circumstances, grandparents may file a petition requesting that they be allocated parental responsibilities with regard to a grandchild. These cases involve situations when the grandparents have had physical custody of the child for an extended period of time, or when the case is commenced when the grandchild is not in the physical care of one of the child’s parents. The court may also permit grandparents to intervene in a case involving the allocation of parental responsibilities with regard to a grandchild. In all these circumstances, a court will evaluate the grandparents’ fitness as caregivers as well as the child best interests.

In situations where one or both of the parents are fit and able to carry on their parental responsibilities, grandparents have no rights with regard to the grandchildren where there is not or has not been any child custody case involving the grandchild. In the United States Supreme Court case of Troxel v. Granville (2000), the Court stated that parents have a fundamental liberty interest in the care, custody and control of their children. The Court went on to state that if a parent is a fit parent, the government will normally not interfere in a parent’s decision-making process with regard to their child. This means that courts will not get involved in disputes between fit parents and grandparents with regard to grandparent visitation. As a practical matter, this ruling should not impact grandparents to a great extent because adult children usually get along fairly well with their parents and realize that it is in their children’s best interest to have a good relationship with the grandparents. Most parents appreciate the important role the grandparent’s play in their grandchildren’s lives.

If you are a grandparent raising your grandchildren, the community appreciates and applauds your efforts.

It's the Law:Domestic Violence

Domestic violence is a very serious problem. It affects us all. It is especially bad for children. Domestic violence situations can often arise in the context of a divorce, separation or child custody situation. Very serious laws have been enacted to punish and to prevent domestic violence.

What is “domestic violence”? It is any act or threatened act of violence directed toward someone you are related to or have a relationship with. This covers a lot of ground and can include some seemingly insignificant acts. If you touch somebody intentionally (not accidentally) in the context of a domestic dispute, you can be subject to some serious legal consequences. Lightly pushing someone or shaking their chair are examples of behavior that can get you arrested.

If you are involved in an argument and tempers are rising, and you can’t reduce the level of conflict by reasonable means, say “no” to domestic violence – leave, and don’t slam the door on the way out! Don’t put yourself at risk. The consequences of domestic violence can be devastating, even where then is absolutely no physical injury involved.

If a 911 caller alleges domestic violence, someone is going to get arrested. Incidentally, a 911 hang up is treated the same as if the call was completed. If you interfere with someone who is trying to call 911 – congratulations, you have just committed a felony!

If you are arrested for domestic violence, the prosecutor can’t drop the charges, or plea bargain for a charge that does not include domestic violence. Unless you want to enter a plea of anything other than “not guilty”, your only recourse is to go to trial and hope that a jury will find that the prosecutor has not proved the case against you.

Once you are convicted of domestic violence, you can say “goodbye” to work that involves taking care of other human beings, such as anything related to medicine or education.

Domestic violence laws apply equally to men and to women. Even if you are a woman who has been chronically subjected to physical, emotional, and psychological abuse, if you lose your temper and push back, you could be arrested and have to deal with the stigma of a domestic violence conviction for the rest of our life.

So, just say ”no” – leave, avoid a conflict. It’s not only the smart thing to do, it’s the law! You may not like it. You may not understand it. You may not think it’s fair, but it’s the law!